The 5 R's: Reflection

Hi friend. Welcome back - I hope you had a relaxing holiday weekend.

Last week, I shared about the 3rd Pillar of the DMH Transformation Framework, Rebuild.

This week, we’re going to dive into the 4th Pillar: Reflect.

1. Reconnect ✔️

2. Reimagine ✔️

3. Rebuild ✔️

4. Reflect

5. Refine

Reflection is the process of slowing down and reviewing past actions & experiences.

Reflection is answering questions like, “what went well?” and “what could have gone better?”

The goal here is looking inward and understanding who we are & how we’re showing up.

Through reflection, we gain perspective on our strengths, weaknesses, behaviors, thoughts, and desires.

As leadership expert John C. Maxwell once said, “Reflective thinking turns experience into insight.” 

4) Reflect

Reflection is one of the practices that is closest to my heart. I wouldn’t be who I am nor where I am without reflection.

To make a long story short, my life feels lighter and brighter than I ever thought possible. If I were to credit one thing for this (aside from a fortunate upbringing), it would be my daily reflection process (which I’ll share with you at the end).

The power of reflection comes down to one simple idea: We Create the Meaning.

Think about it… In life, there’s the fact of what happened and then the story we tell ourselves.

Put differently— You have the power to create any story you want.

In most cases – Events are neutral until perspective is applied.

Of course, not all events are truly neutral, and it is necessary to recognize privilege, injustice, and differences in lived experience that inform how we show up in the world.

For example, despite earning my Masters's in Accounting, I got talked into sending $10,000 worth of gift cards to a scammer (a story from 2020 that I mentioned in last’s week’s newsletter).

I could have easily fallen into the “Why Me?” mentality and even did, for short periods of time. But instead, I reflected and realized a powerful lesson about wealth and what’s truly important in life (Hint… it’s not money).

For me, this story serves as a reminder that reflection allows us to define our perspective.

It’s a vehicle that paves the way we see the world.

So, you may ask— “what does reflecting look like?”

Here’s what I’ve found after 5 years of a consistent reflection process.

Reflection is Unique to the Individual

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." Aristotle.

For me, reflection is a simple process that takes 10 minutes before bed. I write down 3-5 wins and lessons from each day. 

I began this evening practice in 2017, and it has been, hands down, the most impactful catalyst for growth, insight, and deeper meaning in my life.

Documenting my wins has improved my capability and confidence while recording my lessons learned has informed my shortcomings and commitments for improvement.

At the same time, though I recognize that writing out a list of wins & lessons for every day, week, month, quarter, and year, is intense and certainly not for everyone.

And that’s the beautiful thing— reflection can (& should) look different for everyone.

For Satya Nadella, the CEO of Microsoft, he reccomends a reflection practice that he learned as a child. 

At the end of each day, he writes down three lists:

1. Tasks Done

2. People Met

3. Ideas Generated (to act on)

Over time, this becomes a “continuous system” that allows you to develop clarity, build understanding, and document progress. 

I am yet to try this one out, but it is one of the things I’ve committed to for June 2022.

I hope you join me.

If these examples feel a little too structured for you, here’s another idea:

Reflection can simply be paying more attention in the moment.

As Julia Cameron mentions in “The Artist’s Way,”

“The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight. The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.”

And “The reward for attention is always healing. Attention is an act of connection.”

Simply paying attention builds awareness. & you cannot change what you’re not aware of.

When We Reflect, We Alchemize.

We Transform (Pain into Purpose).

When We Reflect, We Set the Stage for Refinement.

Today is the first of June - a perfect time to slow down and reflect on the past 5 months. 

Here some additional questions to facilitate reflection.

• What experience(s) am I most grateful for (that have occurred so far this year)?

• What are my biggest values? Have I been living in accordance with these values?

• What activities did I engage with most over the last few months? For every activity, answer these two questions:

  • Did I enjoy the process?

  • Did other people enjoy the result?

• At this moment in time, on a scale of 1-7, how satisfied am I in terms of the following categories: Health, Family, Friends, Relationship, Mission, Work, Finances, Adventure, Hobby, Spirituality, Emotion, and Happiness.

That's everything for this week.

I appreciate you reading and hope you have a healthy week ahead.

With Gratitude, 

Aidan

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