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- Creating Calm Amidst Chaos
For most of my life, I believed staying cool under pressure was a gift possessed by a lucky few. I was wrong.
It turns out, the ability to remain calm amidst stress is a skill that can be developed.
Though I don’t always feel completely grounded, my inner world is significantly more serene than it once was.
There’s some ridiculous, heart-wrenching, and straight-up evil shit going on in the world right now, which makes it all the more essential to nurture our inner worlds.
This newsletter is not about those challenges, but rather, the practices that can help us cultivate inner peace.
It’s been a turbulent week. I hope this provides guidance.
I’m here // with you.
Mindfulness / Meditation / Yoga / Breath Work
Reading Emily Fletcher’s book “Stress Less, Accomplish More” in 2019 transformed my perspective on meditation.
After finishing the first chapter, I began meditating every day.
This made me feel lighter - enhancing how I related to stress and allowing me to take on more - in and out of the workplace.
My ability to deal with stress improved. Thus, my capacity for life expanded.
This is possible for all of us.
As Emily shares in her book, a study conducted by Harvard in 2015 revealed that an eight-week daily meditation program “showed unmistakable physical changes, including shrinking of the amygdala (the brain’s fear center), and expansion of the brain stem, where dopamine and serotonin – the chemicals responsible for feelings of happiness, love, and contentment –originate.” (Schulte, 2015).
But - as much value as meditation has - it isn’t the only path to stillness.
You can practice mindfulness in every moment.
"Wherever you are, be there totally" is an idea that Eckhart Tolle shares beautifully in his book “The Power of Now,” (which is also one of my favorites).
Whether it’s meditation, mindfulness, yoga, or breathwork, all are better practiced than discussed or written about.
Thus, here’s some links to a few of my favorite places to access the present moment.
You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup
Self-care is the most widely discussed element of stress management.
“You have to put your own oxygen mask on first,” as the saying goes.
In other words, to show up for those you love, you need to take care of yourself first.
This can look different for everyone, but the reality is: self-care is not a luxury, it's a necessity.
Here are some of my favorite self-care practices at the moment:
Reading is something I rediscovered later in life. Shoutout to my parents & family for encouraging me to read at a young age.
One thing that helped me return to loving books - was giving myself permission to read numerous books at once and setting each one aside whenever I please. Life’s too short for a bad book.
Here’s what I’m reading // paging through at the moment.
Taking a Walk in Nature: There’s something mysteriously yet undeniably rejuvenating about immersing yourself in nature. It’s like we belong there (hint: we do).
Many of history’s greatest thinkers were habitual walkers, including Hendry David Thoreau, who said: “the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.”
Listening to Music: Music has far more power than many of us give it credit for. One of the oldest traditions in humanity - across cultures - music brings us to new vibrations, together. There’s nothing like witnessing a live concert, but even deep listening to an album can deliver magic.
Some of my favorite songs/albums from the past couple months are linked below.
Watching A Movie or Show: Sometimes, a well-told story can be just the escape or entertainment you need. I’m currently rewatching Suits and am thrilled about it.
Writing is one of the most effective ways to process emotion, integrate ideas, and find clarity. Whether it’s keeping a journal, creating a newsletter, or simply jotting down thoughts, writing is my most cherished practice.
Previously, I’ve written about Morning Pages, an idea put forth by Julia Cameron that involves writing stream-of-consciousness first thing in the morning. It’s widely credited as one of the most effective toolkits for creativity, and I’d highly recommend both the practice & her book, “The Artist’s Way.”
As we navigate through uncertain and turbulent times, remember that each of these practices serves as a toolkit for nurturing our well-being. Only you are going to know what tool works best for you.
Time Management & Prioritization
Feeling overwhelmed is one of the most stressful things for me.
Whether it’s having too much to do in not enough time, or not having choice in the problems in our lives, overwhelm emerges when I feel powerless.
Making progress towards goals or challenges is helpful here, which is why effective time management is a cornerstone for me keeping stress in check.
Two practices have proven to be effective for me: Writing down wins at the end of each day, which helps me see progress towards challenges, and declaring three intentions for the next day, which provides me with me clarity on what need to be done.
Recently, I adopted a strategy that has been a game-changer for my productivity.
Instead of relying on a typical to-do list, I schedule out specific time slots for each task on my calendar.
This approach accomplishes two things: it encourages deep, distraction-free work, and ensures I address the tasks during its designated time.
When we navigate life’s demands effectively & efficiently, especially if you’re an Enneagram 3 like me, you’ll likely feel more productive, confident, and content.
Seeking Support
This idea is a reminder; it’s important to ask for help. We can’t do it all ourselves.
The perspectives of others can allow us to see things in a new way, while connecting with others feels meaningful and gives us purpose.
As I’m deepening into partnership in a number of ways, I’m finding this idea more and more resonant:
It’s less about where you’re going and more about who you’re going with.
Get Curious & Feel it To Heal It
There’s an intriguing idea & movement making the rounds that suggests “the restoration of the planet will come out of a transformation of human consciousness.”
This process is both ongoing & collective.
It’s a journey and a dance that involves acknowledging all facets of our experience— the light, the dark, and the countless shades in between.
Internal Family Sytems, often referred to as Parts Work, is a therapeutic approach designed to help people explore & understand their identities by examining the different “parts” or subpersonalities within their minds.
In a similar philosophy, we can extend the principles of curiosity, compassion, and acceptance to the events in our lives.
For me, the central theme is staying curious without judgement.
Rather than judging and/or shutting down, asking “why” allows us to deepen into our understanding about ourselves and the world we live in.
Honoring all our feelings, I’m discovering, and staying open to what unfolds, is the path to healing and finding deeper meaning in life.
As Tara Brach writes in her book, Radical Acceptance, “The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.”
This is my path.
Nothing more // nothing less.
I appreciate you reading.
Be well,
Aidan
