The Art of Lasting Change

Hey - welcome back to the newsletter.

This winter was tough, but April marks the beginning of a new quarter.

It’s a fresh 12-week canvas, full of possibility.

Since September, I’ve been learning a lot about behavior change, as a part of a Functional Medicine Coaching program that I’m enrolled in.

So today, I’m sharing the most impactful coaching frameworks I’ve learned so far - ideas that don’t just shift perspective, but create real, lasting change.

Just in case you wanna build some momentum in Q2😉 

Let’s dive in.

Defining Your Vision & Why

The first step in any (wellness) journey is figuring out where you’re heading.

Sure, you could just start trying things at random, but a clear vision illuminates the path forward.

Similarly, continuously refining your vision is crucial. It will change as you change & as the world changes.

Think of behavior change as walking through a forest.

If you can see the city through the trees, you know where to go. Without a waypoint, you wander.

The same applies to change.

A vision gives you direction. 

A why gives you a reason to keep going.

After all, Direction > Speed. 

Before starting any pursuit - health, career, or otherwise - begin with & come back to these three questions:

• What am I trying to achieve?

• What does success look like?

• Why does this matter to me? 

Then, ask why again. At least three more times.

That’s where the real answers are. 

Strengths: A Key to Transformation

Your strengths aren’t just things you’re good at - they’re your most powerful tools for growth.

Culturally, we’re taught to focus on fixing weaknesses.

Think back to elementary school report cards.

Were you more encouraged bring the C up to a B?

Or improve that A- to an A?

In my experience, it’s certainly the former.

We’re often taught to draw lines between what’s working & what’s not.

But here’s the secret:

Real transformation occurs when you we apply your strengths to your challenges.

For instance, when I lean into curiosity, challenges start to unravel:

• A difficult work colleague becomes more relatable

• A lack of motivation reveals an opportunity to pivot

• A deep-seated struggle unwinds itself

So next time you’re dealing with a big challenge, consider:

• What are my biggest strengths? 

• What comes naturally to me?

• How might those attributes apply to a difficulty I’m facing?

Because the answers aren’t always in doing more or being different.

Often, it’s about recognizing the power you already have.

(Want a deeper dive? StrengthsFinder is a great place to start.)

Action > Awareness

Insight alone doesn’t create change - consistent action does.

Many people believe that once they understand the problem, change will follow. 

But awareness without action is like reading about exercise without ever hitting the gym. 

It might feel great, but it doesn’t actually move the needle.

In my experience, action wins for three reasons:

• Experience builds clarity. You refine what works by doing, not just thinking.

• Momentum matters. Small actions compound over time, making change feel inevitable.

• Behavior shapes identity. You don’t become healthy by knowing about good habits—you become healthy by practicing them.

And this is why I believe so firmly in the power of coaching - it translates awareness into a sustainable action plan.

Questions like:

• If you were to begin tomorrow, what’s the smallest step you could take?

• If you had unlimited time & resources, what might a courageous leap forward look like? 

When we don’t overload ourselves with articles, podcasts & knowledge, and instead, commit towards small steps, we create the conditions for change to stick & transformation to occur. 

Build Before You Optimize

When it comes to behavior change, it’s tempting to jump straight into optimization.

I’m speaking from firsthand experience here…

Optimization is the fun part. It’s the new tech. The cool gadget.

It’s the sexy part that sells. The part that feels like progress.

But here’s the truth: without a foundation, optimization is just a decoration.

Too often, we focus on the new thing before we’ve built anything at all.

We buy the $300 desk treadmill before committing to simply standing more. 

Or we try an expensive juice cleanse before decreasing our daily sugar & alcohol intake.

It’s easy to fall into this trap - everywhere we look, we’re told that the right product, plan, or hack is the missing piece.

But that’s one of the many dangers of late stage capitalism…

It convinces us that spending money is the answer to our problems.

More times than not, what you’re looking for is an inside job.

Real, lasting change doesn’t come from finding the perfect strategy– it comes from committing to the simple, unglamorous steps that build momentum.

So before you tweak, upgrade, or optimize, ask yourself: 

• Am I trying to optimize something I haven’t consistently done yet?

• What’s the core habit I actually need to establish before adding complexity?

• If I removed all the fancy tools, apps, or supplements, could I still make progress?

Because a habit you actually do is always better than a perfect plan you don’t.

Beware of This or That Thinking

In my first few months coaching, I’d ask clients “Is it this or is it that?”

Subconsciously, it was an attempt to offer solutions in question form.

Rubbish.

That kind of thinking isn’t client centered.

And worse, it’s not even helpful. It’s limiting, borderline damaging. 

Most of the time, people know what’s best for them.

And more often than not, the real answer isn’t A or B – it’s somewhere in between, or entirely outside the box. It’s option L2.3. 

Once I saw this pattern in coaching, I saw it everywhere – including my own thinking. 

The mind l o v e s binaries: good or bad, success or failure, all in or all out.

And our reductionist culture thrives on this oversimplification because it makes things easier to package, sell, and control.

Not to sound trite, but life isn’t black or white.

By extension, that also means that people, places, or choices aren’t all good or bad.

Everything exists on a spectrum.

When we force things into rigid categories, we miss the richness of what’s in front of us - and perhaps more importantly, what’s actually possible.

So, you might be asking… “what does this philosophical mumbo jumbo mean, practically?”

Well, embracing more expansive thinking may look like:

• Replace “Is it this or that?” with “What could it be?”

• When feeling stuck, ask: “What’s a third path?” Creativity thrives outside of binaries.

• Notice when you label something as “good” or “bad.” Ask yourself: Is this fully true? What’s another perspective?

• Hold space for contradictions. Two seemingly opposing things can be true at the same time. Paradox is everywhere & makes life beautiful.

• Get curious about discomfort. If something feels uncertain, it’s likely an opportunity for learning and/or growth.

• Stay open. The best solutions — the ones aligned with your values, intuition, and truth — often emerge when you release the need for certainty.

Expanding your thinking isn’t just about being more open-minded — it’s about reclaiming the full range of possibilities available to you.

4 Quotes That Build on These Ideas:

Author James Clear on leadership:

"The way to help someone is not to critique what makes them smaller, but to encourage what makes them larger."

Civil Rights Activist Martin Luther King Jr. on taking action:

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

Novelist Toni Morrison on invention:

"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. The same is true of any endeavor: if the solution you seek doesn't exist, create it."

Psychiatrist Thomas Szasz on what is required to learn:

"Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily; and why older persons, especially if vain or important, cannot learn at all."

That’s it for this week.

I appreciate you.

Until next time,

Aidan