I tried Ketamine therapy

Hi friend,

We’ve got something a little different today— a summary of my experience with Ketamine therapy and a special share at the end,

“Ketamine feels like the cool side of the pillow. It’s gentle - like a hug - and it’s given me the space to meditate and think about my place in the world.”

These were the first two sentences I wrote after my first Ketamine therapy experience, provided through Mindbloom.

What followed was three months of self-discovery & profound perspective shifts.

Why Did I Do It?

Last winter was tough for me.

I moved to a new city where I didn’t know anyone but my girlfriend. 

The workdays felt endless and the nights were cold.

Some days I questioned if I’d made the right decision to move.

While running one afternoon, I came across a podcast discussing ketamine.

This time, however, it was in the therapeutic context— quite different than the party drug I’d previously heard about.

This newfound modality intrigued me, so I did some research and came across Mindbloom, a start-up that aims to address mental health issues through psychedelic treatments.

Mindbloom specifically deals with Ketamine, an anesthetic that was approved by the FDA in 1970 and is listed on the WHO’s List of Essential Medicines.

It’s shown remarkable benefits to mental health conditions primarily due to two factors (as explained on Mindbloom’s website):

"Fuel Neural Growth: When people suffer from chronic anxiety and depression, their neurons become stunted with fewer connections. Ketamine helps repair this damage by stimulating neuroplasticity and fertilizing the brain, restoring and strengthening new connections between neurons.

Reduce Negative Thoughts: Ketamine can also offer relief from negative thoughts by normalizing activity in a part of the brain known as the default mode network.  By altering connectivity in this part of the brain, ketamine can help people break out of old thought patterns that cause anxiety and depression.

At the time I found this research, I was already doing all the “things” - therapy, meditation, exercise, and an anti-inflammatory diet. I’d recommend giving each of these a shot before turning to any form of drugs/medications.

However, seeking a change from my established routine, I was open to exploring new avenues.

"If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten," as the saying goes…

Having a company mail me drugs and doing them in my living room? 

Seemed fishy… and still kinda does. But boy was it worthwhile.

Let’s dive in.

What The First Session Was Like?

Mindbloom’s thoughtful & thorough onboarding process provided me with a comfortable first session.

Weeks beforehand, I met with a clinician for a health screening, to ensure that ketamine therapy could be safely introduced. 

We also discussed the process & dosage, which helped me understand how the medicine works and how it can be best used.

The program also provides a “guide,” who is there to provide support throughout the plan. 

In the hour leading up to the first session, my guide helped me revisit my intentions and ensured there was a “Peer Treatment Monitor,” who would be in the house at the same time - for added safety.

Then it was time to sit.

The medicine is administered in the form of a lozenge - known as a “Gentle Onset Tablet.”

Imagine a cough drop, but the difference is, you don’t swallow. It simply rests in your mouth for 7 minutes, while music from the Mindbloom app sets the mood.

Once you hear a bell sound from your headphones, it’s time to spit the lozenge out, and put the eye-mask on. 

(This eye mask itself might be worth doing the treatment - it’s extremely comfortable and I’ve used it nearly every night since.)

The next hour was spent in complete darkness alongside the instrumental music.

My mind wandered through ideas, while being “held gently by the medicine,” as I wrote in the journaling session afterwards.

I felt light, easeful, and not at all overwhelmed. 

In fact, “I didn’t feel too different,” but “the silence seemed like the magic… the spaciousness had the biggest impact.”

In my own words, there were “few new ideas, but rather an embodied sense of what’s true.”

The session concluded with a deep sense of gratitude: “While I don’t think I got special answers, I felt a lot, and I trust that moving these emotions is in my highest good.”

Deepening into the Process

A few days later, I met with my guide to integrate the first experience and clarify intentions for moving forward.

Building on this foundation, my Mindbloom journey extended over the next two months, for an additional 5 sessions. 

Each session was an hour, followed by 30-40 minutes of reflective journaling.

Each experience was mild, prompting discussions with the clinician. Collaboratively, we decided to incrementally increase the dosage for the following sessions. 

This adjustment created slightly heightened effects, in the sense that I felt myself lighter & more connected to the spaciousness of the experience.

It wasn’t until the last session that I encountered the dissociative state that ketamine is known for. The state was slight, and lingered for about 15 minutes, offering a unique feeling of easeful detachment.

Throughout the process, my guide played a crucial role, offering encouragement, resources, and heart-centered support whenever I needed it.

I’m immensely grateful for her, my clinicians, and the entire Mindbloom team for their invaluable contributions to my & the world’s healing journey.

As I navigated these sessions, a recurring theme emerged—trusting my inner guidance. 

Amidst the subtle shifts & reflections, a question echoed: What feels true? 

What ideas or experiences feel expansive? Which feel constrictive?

In this exploration, I found that leaning into curiosity rather than judgment, avoidance, or rigidity is key. 

Overall, my anxiety & depression symptoms lessened during & after this program, and my overall sense of well-being improved as well. 

The Personal as Universal (The Research)

While anecdotes can be powerful, there’s something about population research that’s even more compelling.

Studies can make the personal universal. And that transformation is exemplified by Mindbloom. 

Participating in the largest-ever clinical study on ketamine therapy, Mindbloom monitored over 1,200 Mindbloom clients over 4 sessions.

The results are wild. As you can see, straight from their website:

• 89% of clients reported improvement in their depression and anxiety symptoms after 4 sessions

• 62% of participants who reported suicidal ideation no longer reported any suicidal ideation after 4 sessions

• 95% of clients reported no side effects from their ketamine treatment with Mindbloom

• 30% of clients experiencing depression and anxiety achieved remission (or virtually no symptoms) after 4 sessions

So if you find yourself grappling with mental health challenges, much like I did last Spring, I’d recommend researching Mindbloom and seeing if it sparks an interest.

While psychedelic medicines may not resonate with everyone, the emerging research surrounding their effectiveness is undeniable.

And considering the ever-evolving social landscape, it appears that they’re not just sticking around, but they’re becoming more popular & accessible than ever for the decades to come.

We’re Being Called into the We Space

One of the basic principles of psychedelics is reconnection.

There’s a ton of interesting research about this concept in the blog linked above, such as psilocybin’s impact of "increasing identification with nature,” “decreasing authoritarianism,” and even engaging in “pro-environmental behavior.”

But despite this compelling research & my own novice experiences with psychedelics, I’d never heard of the concept of the “We Space.”

“We’re being called into the We Space.”

When my clinician voiced this idea during our initial meeting, I stopped in my tracks.

“What do you mean, the ‘We Space’?” I asked.

“We’re all earthlings… all human,” she responded.

“The I space is based on ego & caught up in trauma. It’s disconnected from the We Space.”

Through centuries of disconnection (from land, community, food, & self) as a society, we find ourselves in the I space.

When we’re in the I space, we’re caught up in ego– protecting ourselves from injury or embarrassment, and prioritizing individual needs over collective well-being.

It’s a state of contracted consciousness— a state of isolation— where the focus is on self-preservation and often achievement.

The We Space, however, refers to the shared consciousness that emerges in group dynamics. 

A vision for the future, grounded in shared values & mutual benefit, for instance, is an example of the ‘We Space.’

The I Space is cerebral - “what can I do or get?”

The We Space is somatic - “what can we be or create together?”

What I’m learning, is that moving from the I Space to the We Space involves moving from the head back to the heart.

Mending disconnection with reconnection. Overcoming fear with love.

Head —> Heart. This is the healing path.

One of my biggest takeaways from this experience was to initiate more of what I want to see in the world. Take bigger risks. Practice being seen in the world.

So in this ethos, I’m going to do one of the scarier things for an artist, and that is share my poetry for the first time…

I wrote this after my third Mindbloom experience, as I was lying in bed late at night.

As I continue to deepen,

life feels more alive.

As I continue to share my truth,

new doors open.

As I continue to share my heart,

I feel love (in) return.

What if the key to love

is simply loving again?

That’s it for this week.

I appreciate you reading.

With gratitude,

Aidan