2023 Annual Review

Hey friend - happy holidays.

As another year comes to close, I reflect on this quote:

“The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

Every year since 2013, James Clear published an Annual Review based on the following three questions:

• What went well?

• What didn’t go well?

• What did I learn?

I loved completing this exercise last year, so today we’re gonna run it back again. 

I hope you enjoy.

What Went Well?

Beginning a New Chapter

In January 2023, I said goodbye to Philadelphia - my home for the past six years.

I started a new chapter - moving in with my girlfriend, Nadine, in Bethlehem, PA.

This relocation marked a dive into the unknown, as I didn’t know anyone in the area, and it’d be my first time cohabitating with a romantic partner.

One year in, and I’m grateful to report that the move has been a blessing in many ways.

For one - I feel safer than I did in Philly. In all honesty, I didn’t even realize how on edge I was while living in the city until I started existing in a place where I didn’t have to think about it.

I still miss the vibe of urban living & spending time with my friends, for sure. 

But at this stage in my life, I am drawn to the abundant trees & trails of the suburbs.

I’ve rediscovered my joy of evening walks - which were simply not advisable in many neighborhoods in Philly.

The food scene here is making things fun too - lots of farmers markets, farm to table restaurants, and a local health food store (that’s actually affordable).

Highlights of living in the Lehigh Valley were seeing live shows, building new friendships, and playing ultimate frisbee – all of which continue to be intentions for 2024.

Welcoming Luna

I couldn’t have been more wrong about my aversion to the idea of bringing a kitten into my life.

My perspective shifted immediately when Nadine brought Luna home last June.

Since that day, Luna has grown from 1.2 pounds to nearly 7 and taught me some profound lessons along the way: patience, compassion, and love are the first that come to mind.

While adopting a pet might not be considered an achievement (as defined by capitalism), Luna’s impact on my life is immeasurable – transforming ordinary days into numerous moments of beauty & presence.

I’m beginning to think that people who hate cats just haven’t met a cool cat yet.

Delivering My First Public Speech

For as long as I can remember, public speaking has been my biggest fear.

In August, I confronted that fear head-on by delivering a heartfelt speech at my best friend’s wedding.

The emotional response was immediate - both my friend & his bride cried. Everyone clapped. And I felt a profound sense of accomplishment (& relief). 

Mission accomplished.

You can read more about this experience & some of the ways I prepared in another newsletter: “Conquering Fear through Celebrating Love.” 

Nurturing My Mental Health

Two days before my 29th birthday in February, my Aunt Grace passed away.

At the age of 93, she lived a remarkably full life.

Nonetheless, this experience brought on my first true encounter with grief.

Unsure how to move forward, I began working with a somatic therapist and wrote this tribute a few weeks later: “I Love & Adore You: Honoring Grace & Embracing Unconditional Love.”

Channeling my feelings into words illustrated the healing power of creativity, a belief I now wholeheartedly embrace.

Fast forward ten months of near-weekly therapy, and I find myself in a more easeful existence.

My self-talk has improved dramatically. I don’t take things as personally and catch myself (more often) when overthinking.

Bad days still come, but instead of avoiding sadness or sidestepping anxiety, I’m learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings. “Ya gotta feel it to heal it,” as the saying goes.

I fully recognize that mental health journeys are ongoing, and backslides are somewhat inevitable.

So moving ahead, I see a continuous process clarifying my values, honoring what is present, refining what works, and letting go of what doesn’t. 

This is my path to peace.

Traveling to Washington

Olympic National Park has been on the top of my bucket list for some time.

My visit this summer now marks one of my favorite trips ever.

Layered with bright green moss & trees for as far as the eye can see, the Hoh Rainforest was definitely a highlight.

What Didn’t Go Well?

Newsletter Growth

My goal this year was to increase the newsletter audience to 150.

It’s currently at 83 - just a few higher than where I ended last year.

This is largely because I haven’t prioritized audience growth whatsoever.

This deliberate choice not to promote it beyond its existing circle aligns with my compass question - a goal-setting & decision-making framework that I introduced last year.

My compass question for 2023 was: How can I show up to deepen, develop, and create?

In May, this commitment led to a rebranding – Discover More Health became Wellness Unbound.

I’ve discovered that life is not always about more. There’s a power in simplicity.

Through three writing courses – “The Two Hour Writer” by Dan Koe, “Online Writing Alchemy” by Alex Mathers, and the classic book course, “The Artist’s Way,” by Julia Cameron– I’ve developed as a writer.

And perhaps most importantly, I created. Consistently.

This is my 29th newsletter published this year, and it finally feels like I’m finding the topics & styles that interest me. 

As this year’s phase of deepening concludes, the spotlight turns to growth. 

Expansion is what’s to come in 2024.

Health Setbacks

I began playing ultimate frisbee again this year, which was huge for my mental health & sense of community.

Half-way through the season, however, a bold defense play took a huge toll on my body.

After jumping up to tip the disk & save a score, I landed with my knee straight like an arrow. It hyperextended on impact and resulted in a sprained PCL, Achilles & ATFL… contributing to a less than ideal ultimate & running season.

This physical setback, coupled with an earlier tweak to my shoulder, brought me to some low moments this year.

It’s so frustrating when our bodies do not feel or move in the ways we know they can or have before.

Learning to give myself patience & grace is essential.

Pushing or muscling through a physical injury is never an effective strategy.

Yet, I continued to exercise in ways that are most comfortable, rather than what would be the most beneficial to my recovery. 

I could have (& arguably should have) done much more yoga & mobility practices.

But all in all, these injuries have made it challenging to get excited about physical training and therefore, make meaningful progress to my fitness.

Heading into 2024, my reminder is: When it’s hard to speed up, slow down. Make the time for stretching, yoga, stillness, and the sauna.

Health & wellness is a long game.

Sweating the Small Stuff

Despite the positive strides in my mental health, I still find myself stressing about things that don't matter and occasionally flirting with catastrophic thinking.

Whether it’s a complex issue popping up at work or an unexpected inconvenience - like my car battery dying last week - I’ve reliably given myself at least 1 meltdown every few weeks.

Entering 2024, my reminder is: take a step back, look at the larger frame, and ask, “will this matter in a week?” And further, “how can I resolve the issue without sweating it?”

This strategy often involves a change of setting or emotional state - a shower, a walk, or just two minutes of breathwork. 

This shift aids in navigating the small stuff with a new perspective, echoing the wisdom of Alan Watts, "The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”

What Did I Learn?

I learned a lot in 2023. Here are some of the main takeaways.

We find what we are looking for. Much like a self-fulfilling prophecy, our focus creates our reality. Similarly, our values determine what we focus on. As the saying goes, “what we seek, we shall find.” Or put differently, we see what we value.

Direction over speed. It doesn’t matter how fast you’re going if you’re going the wrong way. Ask yourself, “What am I optimizing for?” for clarity of direction. Once your direction is aligned, consistency trumps intensity. There’s a time & place to run, but most of the time, taking one small step each day is a more effective strategy.

If you want to learn more about something, study its opposite. Life is a paradox. Just as the good doesn’t exist without the bad, the light doesn’t exist without the dark. We can enhance our perspective by embracing nuance. Considering all sides is the path to deeper understanding. For example, learning what doesn’t work often reveals what will. The ongoing dance of paradox shapes our existence.

Feel, then think. For much of my life, I navigated using logic as my compass— thinking my way through every situation. Now, I’m discovering that feeling first establishes a connection– with ourselves & our beliefs. Emotions bring us into our bodies & serve as insights into what we’re experiencing. Honoring & listening to these cues before taking action can be transformative. Follow the expansive feelings. Turn up the knob on what’s working.

Surrender is faith-based, while avoidance is fear-based. Intention makes a big difference. Surrender is witnessing, experiencing, allowing, and nurturing. Setting aside personal preference. Trusting the flow of life. Embracing the Middle Way– neither grasping nor pushing away. Avoidance is both grasping & pushing away. Surrender, don’t avoid.

Love is the answer. What if the only point of life was to learn to fall in love with this place? Love, even when it’s challenging. Healing is expanding our capacity to engage with love. Do as Aaron Alexander advises and “if you don’t like it, love it.”

One new idea can transform your future. Often, aligned action is the first step.

Photos of the Year

Thank You for Reading

If you feel called, feel free to share - what were your biggest wins, losses, and lessons from 2023?

Wishing you & your loved ones a happy New Year.

With gratitude,

Aidan