Hey - I hope you're doing well.

Last month, I got my Function Health results.

I was sitting in my office scrolling through 100+ biomarkers when I saw it — 15 markers out of range.

Cholesterol was high across the board. Thyroid antibodies were through the roof. And I had food sensitivities to wheat, egg whites, peanuts, casein (milk), corn, and coffee.

I wasn't shocked — I’d watched these numbers creep up in previous labs.

But seeing it all together? Clarifying in a way I didn't expect.

Here's the thing: I feel pretty good most days. I'm strong, I lift regularly, and I eat whole foods 90% of the time — including Greek yogurt, whey protein & Parmesan — all the high-protein staples that, for many, can optimize body composition.

Or so I thought.

The data told a different story.

There's a gap between feeling well & actually being healthy underneath.

And for the first time, I could see it clearly.

Imagine taking your car to a mechanic and saying, "just do whatever worked for that other guys’s Toyota."

It wouldn’t work. To fix your car, you’d run diagnostics. You’d figure out what's wrong with your engine, transmission, or system.

But this “follow-others’-success” approach is exactly what we do with our health.

We follow the diet that worked for our friend. Copy the training program from an influencer. Try intermittent fasting because podcasters swear by it.

Sometimes that works. Often — like in my case — it doesn't.

My beloved morning coffee? Inflaming my system.

The dairy I ate multiple times to hit 200 grams of protein? Fueling the autoimmune fire.

The intermittent fasting I thought was optimizing my metabolism? Spiking my cortisol & making everything worse.

I wasn't doing anything "wrong”. I was just using the wrong tools for my current situation.

The Function report didn't just give me numbers. It gave me context.

Elevated thyroid antibodies (Hashimoto's) were driving the inflammation. Inflammation was spiking cholesterol. Food sensitivities keeping the cycle going.

Suddenly, the puzzle I'd been trying to solve for months made sense.

So I started making changes:

Cut the sensitivities. No more wheat, eggs, corn, dairy, or coffee. (Yes, those last two hurt.)

Started eating breakfast. A protein-rich, 500-calorie meal instead of spiking my cortisol with caffeine on an empty stomach.

Upped calories to 2,300. Focused on eating fish & 8+ servings of fruits & veggies daily.

Kept lifting & added Zone 2 cardio to support metabolic health without overtaxing my nervous system.

Within two weeks, something shifted. I felt different.

The brain fog? Gone.

My blood sugar stabilized & my focus stayed steady throughout the day instead of crashing at 3PM.

I've lost body fat while eating more than I thought I'd need to. (More on that in a future newsletter).

My mental health improved — enough that I stopped the SSRI experiment that wasn't working for me.

I feel more grounded. More clear. More like myself (again).

Here's what surprised me most about Function: the comprehensiveness at the price point.

I've paid $300+ for just a thyroid panel. I’ve argued with endocrinologists to test my antibodies.

Function gave me 100+ biomarkers — hormones, lipids, metabolic markers, and food sensitivities — for $450 (the food sensitivities test was a $100 add-on).

Plus, there’s an AI module in the app that lets you ask questions about your results & get personalized explanations. It's like having a doctor who actually has time to walk you through everything.

More than the value, though, Function gave me something I'd been missing: specificity.

Cold plunges might be incredible for someone else, but they dysregulate my nervous system.

Long-distance running might work for a marathoner, but it would further damage my metabolism (like it did training for the Philly marathon in 2021).

Intermittent fasting has solid research behind it, but for someone with an autoimmune condition, it's the opposite of helpful.

Health isn't one-size-fits-all.

It's individual. It's specific. 

And more than anything, we can't just copy approaches from other people's lives & expect them to work for ours.

We need to know what's actually happening under the hood.

If you've tried multiple approaches and still feel stuck — this isn’t proof that something’s wrong with you. It's proof that generic advice doesn't work for specific bodies.

Whether it's Function or another comprehensive test, looking at what's actually happening in your body lets you stop guessing & start knowing. To stop spinning your wheels & start using the tools that actually work for you.

I'm not saying I have it all figured out. My energy & health aren't optimized yet. Hashimoto’s is challenging to manage, and I'm still learning.

But I'm no longer guessing.

I know what the big rocks are & I’m focused on moving those.

And that clarity? It’s cultivated hope.

If you're curious about Function, I can't recommend it enough. You can use HSA dollars to cover it, which makes it more accessible than it seems.

And if Function isn't in the cards right now, that's cool too. Just remember: you deserve answers. You deserve to know what's actually going on in your body. And with the technology we have now, those answers are more within reach than ever.

I'd love to hear from you — have you ever had bloodwork that shifted your approach to health?

If you have questions about Function, feel free to reach out.

And if you want to sign up, here is my referral link for a $25 discount.

One more thing: you’ll see an ad at the bottom for a CBD company. CBD has been a meaningful part of my wellness journey, and I’m excited to share the first ad in the four years of Wellness Unbound.

Clicking through helps support this newsletter (and helps me keep writing for you).

With gratitude,

Aidan

PS. One of the coolest features of Function — and the biggest piece of good news from my results. Even with Hashimoto's & high cholesterol, my body's doing a lot right. Now to keep building on it.

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